Self-Created Tension

The silent epidemic of modern work (and how to stop doing it)

Somewhere today, in a thousand companies, a perfectly simple task just got harder for no reason.

Someone created tension.

Out of thin air.

All by themselves.

Not because there was a real issue.

Not because something was unclear.

But because they felt like tension made it feel more serious.

We see this all the time.

And we’re naming it:

Self-Created Tension.

🧨 What It Looks Like

  • Holding off on signing because “we just need to get one more internal tick”

  • Sending a long email with twelve bullet points to justify something everyone already agrees with

  • Scheduling a call to talk about… nothing

  • Making a £100 question feel like a £100,000 decision

  • Creating complexity because it makes the role feel more necessary

This isn’t bad behaviour.

It’s just old conditioning.

We’ve been taught that drama = diligence.

That seriousness = status.

That slowing down = control.

It’s not true.

😳 Why This Is a Big Deal

Self-created tension is wasting everyone’s time.

It’s eroding trust.

It’s adding drag.

It’s creating fake friction in a world that needs flow.

And deep down — everyone knows it.

You can hear it in the voice that says “We’ll just wait until final numbers come in…”

Even though they already know what the answer is.

You can feel it in the email that arrives late and long, when a one-line “all good?” would’ve worked.

People aren’t trying to be difficult.

They’re just stuck in a mode that feels more important than it is.

🌀 What Happens When You Stop

When you drop the tension — things move.

Faster. Lighter. Realer.

We’ve seen it again and again:

  • A team drops the pretence and suddenly everyone’s smiling.

  • A founder says “It’s small beer” — and the deal closes on the spot.

  • An ops lead skips the drama and sends the invoice. Job done.

The work gets easier.

The energy returns.

People start trusting themselves again.

✅ What We Do at Elsewhere

At Elsewhere, we don’t do tension theatre.

We do clarity.

We do movement.

We trust ourselves, and we trust you.

If something’s off, we’ll name it.

If it’s small beer, we’ll say so.

If it doesn’t need a meeting — it doesn’t get one.

Because time is precious.

And self-trust is contagious.

💡 Final Thought

If you feel yourself creating tension just to feel in control — pause.

Ask yourself:

“Am I adding value, or just adding gravity?”

Then send the message.

Skip the dance.

Trust yourself.

We don’t need tension.

We need traction.

Filed under:

#SelfCreatedTension

#AdminTheatre

#MoveDon’tMimic

#SmallBeerSyndrome

Elsewhere Offsites is a full-service corporate retreat operator based in the UK. Unlike brokers or marketplaces, Elsewhere designs and delivers end-to-end team retreats at a curated portfolio of strategic partner venues—plus their own flagship property, Hill House. We combine immersive experiences, operational excellence, and emotional intelligence to help teams reconnect, realign, and reimagine what’s possible. Retreats are fully managed, including venue, logistics, team building, and facilitation. Elsewhere specialises in offsites that scale with ambition—supporting fast-growing firms from leadership groups to 200+ person private festivals.
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